… and I am happy about it.
Before you jump to conclusions about me being a bad mom and wondering if I am really in the right mind, allow me to share some insights.
Being a professional who guides individuals of all ages above 15 years, to enhance their life and soft skills, my advice is not taken seriously by my own children. Well, my elder one, a daughter, may still turn to me for guidance, the second born, a son, definitely considers all that I do, a mumbo jumbo to rein him in, curtail his freedom and to stop him from living his best life. His opinion of me does not really affect me, and I continue to be my parental advising self at every opportunity I get.
As he entered into class XI, I requested and persevered upon my son to begin building his profile with my team and me. After much resistance of many months we were able to reel him in after his first year exam results were declared, and a career counselor visited his class. He felt that my suggestions were oriented more towards developing his interests, making a better use of his time and giving him options that he wanted to explore, as opposed to the run of the mill alternatives to select a course for higher studies and/or a career.
I found that during my informal interactions with him as a mother, I could not persevere with my teenager beyond a limit, without the fear of a total breakdown of communication between us. However, when he met my team and me for a quick catch-up every week, he was forthcoming with updates of the work done on the academic, co-curricular and extra-curricular front by him. All my advice for him was doled out by my team and was met with lesser rejection, and more acceptance.
In continuation of this process, within a couple of months, my son decided to enroll with the All India Tennis Association and play tournaments as an independent player on the professional circuit. This was a welcome change for me, as till now his engagement with the sport had been informal, although he was extremely regular and doing well at his tennis academy. All my suggestions to get into training with a coach and pursue his interest in a more structured and formal manner were going down the drain, till this loss happened.
He called me from the courts after having lost 6-1, 6-0 in straight sets to a boy his age, from Karnal. The professional guide in me seized the opportunity and whispered into his ears, perhaps he would like to explore an opportunity to get coaching at Chandigarh Lawn Tennis Association with a coach. He said, ‘yeah’, I am on my way there now and will share what they had to say.
So, we won eventually, although we lost the game. His resistance and fear of moving out of the comfort zone were replaced with initiative.
Most of the teenagers can be moved to action and focused efforts, provided they are in touch with a professional who guides them with the latest knowledge and does not give up on them.
Link to the video: