By Ramneek Kaur
When one hears the word ‘breath’ or ‘breathe’ these days, one is forced to visualize images of people gasping for breath but breathing is synonymous to another magical word – Pranayama – the art of controlled breathing, a practice that helps you control your breath, taking notice of it, making you aware of your being or your very existence.
So, I have been claustrophobic for as long as I can remember. I can’t bear to be in a closed room – to the extent that even if some people are standing (mind you, people in my family are tall and loud, and they can be actually overbearing when excited or agitated), I feel breathless. Not the Shankar Mahadevan’s creative Breathless song type, but the anxious type of breathless where you feel the world is sucking out air from your body through a vacuum pump.
For a long time during my growing up years, I would simply run out to the rooftop lying there listless, looking up – counting the stars and my breaths till my breath came to peace like the still stars in the night sky, or I would walk out into the adjoining park (blessed are to be living in Chandigarh, the City Beautiful, where you find a park in front of almost every house!), walking each step and slowing the pace down in tandem with my breath. How strange it is – you feel it only when you are running out of it – but otherwise you barely notice it while it silently breathes life into you each moment, all the time like an obedient servant!
Some years ago, my son and I attended an emotional therapy camp – and one of the sessions was on Pranayama. Holding the catalogue, my son asks me casually, struggling to pronounce the word correctly, “What is Pranayama?” I gave back a Googled answer – “the art of controlled breathing – they will teach us how to breathe!” He retorts back like a typical teenager, “And what have we been doing all this while!” I remember dismissing the conversation like a typical busy mom with some weird reply to snub him off. But today when I reflect back, it makes me ponder – I guess we are the only living species who can unlearn something as basic as breathing, and have to pay money or invest time, attend camps or sessions to relearn the art of breathing! We are taught how to eat, walk, laugh, dance, and so many things… but ever heard of a mother teaching her child how to breathe!
All I understood from the hour long session, where they took us through various breathing exercises, was – to breathe deep and slow, and notice it. Pay attention to how your body responds to each inhalation and each exhalation. I realised that without knowing the term and the science behind it, I had been doing this sub-consciously to help relieve my anxieties.
Becoming aware of one’s own body, one’s own breath – just realigns your focus from the outer world to your inner being – and slowly, you reaffirm – All’s well! This pandemic has brought us closer to our own self, to the people who matter. It has helped us clear the clutter in our lives, sharpened our senses enough to observe the sky, the clouds, the plants, the flowers, the bees, butterflies and birds, and what more our own breath. I am reminded of an interview of Kalpana Chawla that I had read long ago to my children. When she was asked as to what was the one thing she missed most when she was in the outer space, her answer was, “the wind on my face”. With each breath that we take deeply and slowly, each cell of our body receives a new lease of life! Enjoy it till you have it!